I Suck At Watching Movies

today, i get to spend some quality time with myself... and i definitely do not mean the "going blind" sense of the term. last night, karen and my friend (jen) went to visit my bff (kerry) who lives in salem. with karen spending the night up in salem, that left me all by my lonesome for today.

truth be told, i enjoy having some alone time now and then. lately, i have been feeling a little overloaded... with a stressful project launch at work... with a bathroom renovation project in the works... with helping my mother find health insurance... with other menial chores, etc. the list of "to-dos" definitely gets to be overwhelming at times.

add to the fact that i am still, probably by all accounts, a mess with my constant mood changes over the death of my son (braden)... and i guess it's understandable that i like to have some quality time now and then. unfortunately, i do not have that much time for myself.

i actually started to think more about this topic... interestingly enough, after the first season finale of angel. in addition to having the return of the vampire, darla, the season finale of angel touched upon angel's place in the world. now, by no means am i comparing myself to a tv character... let alone angel. the idea, however, just got me thinking about my own situation and what connects me to the world.

sure, it's a deep philosophical thing. lucky for me, philosophy was one of my two minors in college (anthropology being the other). anyway, since braden's passing, i have... for lack of a better word... felt lost. i can go through the motions of every day life, but deep down i have been feeling empty. i'm a parent, but i'm not really a parent. i guess you can say that i'm in limbo... a holding pattern... i don't really know.

the feeling annoys me because lately i think my moods have been getting worse as my pile of "to-dos" increases. i think i am getting a little anti-social of late. so if anyone sees me and i just grunt... that's probably why.

so how does someone like myself begin to right the course? what else... but unwind and watch movies. now, i suck at watching movies. and sure, i realize that my movie watching only wastes time... time which can be more productively spent on crossing out some of the to-do items... but i think i just personally need some time to unwind. plus, watching movies is better for my health than drinking my stress away. my liver will thank me later.

so thanks to my favorite sister-in-law (janine), i have a netflix account. on the agenda for today: "the spirit", "death race", and "role models".

(the video below is the trailer for "the spirit".)


(the video below is "death race".)


(the video below is the trailer for "role models".)


sure, the three movies are mindless... but at least it's mindless fun. role models was definitely my favorite of the three. who knew larping could be fun? i could live without the spirit... not that the movie was bad... the movie was more blah. and surprisingly, death race was entertaining.

anyway, i've finished watching all three movies already and i still have the rest of the day. so now i have to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. sad...