I Suck At Mixed Martial Arts

Today has been a very unproductive day.

The day started off with a little visit to our local Firestone. With an upcoming vacation to the Cape next weekend, Karen and I wanted to bring our car in. For some time, our car has been making noises... which is never a good sign for an automobile.

As it turns out, our car needed new brake rotors, new struts and new tires. Yes, with a week before vacation, it was great news to hear. But, I suppose the bright side is that at least the car should be in great shape for the vacation.

Anyway, with our car at the local Firestone, Karen and I intruded upon my favorite sister-in-law (Janine) and her family. Janine does relatively close to the Firestone. So Karen and I simply walked on over to their place.

It was great to see Janine, my favorite brother-in-law (PJ), my niece (Kaleigh), and my nephew (PJ). I feel like I have not seen them in quite some time. And as usual, I got my niece and nephew a little riled up. In fact, I think I may have hurt myself by repeatedly lifting both of them off the ground. (For anyone curious, my trapezius muscle is twitching and killing me. I am getting old.)

With Janine, PJ, and Kaleigh, we visited the local farmers market in Hingham. I think it may have been Janine and the kids first time. It seemed like they enjoyed it... except that my nephew thought the experience was too short. Karen and Janine ended up getting some local zucchini and some popcorn. The popcorn came courtesy of T.T. Buds popcorn.

From there, we ended up getting lunch at On Rye Deli in Norwell... before hitting the local 7-11. (Cue Rachael Ray's "Yum-o" sound for On Rye Deli.) Normally, I don't visit 7-11. In fact, I can't remember the last time I was there. But today, all of us went because it was free slurpee day at 7-11 because the date was 7-11. Apparently, 7-11 annually gives away free slurpees on July 11th. Who knew? I have not had a slurpee in ages. It was great!

Eventually, I picked up the car from Firestone. When I got brought the car home, I had received a message from my friend (Marc). Marc and my friend (Kelley) were having people over for the mixed martial arts pay-per-view that has recently been hyped.

Now, I suck at mixed martial arts. I would love to learn mixed martial arts. Or, as my BFF (Kerry) suggested... I should learn "a" martial art before learning "mixed" martial arts. Perhaps I can convince my friend (Jim, a.k.a. the Deadliest Friend) to train me. That would be cool. Of course, the down side of mixed martial arts is that I would horribly lose in any fight.

For starters, I don't like grappling sweaty men. Some of my single lady friends may enjoy that... but not me. Secondly, I don't like getting hit in the face. Truth be told, I don't like getting hit period. I especially don't like ruining my pretty face. Just kidding. And probably lastly, I would easily lose because of my propensity to bleed from my nose. My nose has been known to gush a river of blood with the slightest of bops.

Regardless, when Marc invited Karen and I over, I was pretty ecstatic because I was interested in watching the hyped up match between Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir. For anyone curious, Brock Lesnar was a former World Wrestling Entertainment wrestler. Interestingly enough, he is married to another former WWE wrestler: Sable.

Anyway, I had a great time at Marc and Kelley's. My friend (Cass) and Kerry also attended the event. For Kerry, it was her first time ever watching a mixed martial arts event. I must say, it was a blast watching the event with her. Much like the fortune cookie joke of adding "in bed" to every fortune, Kerry realized that the joke also pertained to mixed martial arts statistics. Thus, some fighters were "great grapplers... in bed."

One of the other comical moments of the night came when Kerry stretched out her legs in a seemingly "Basic Instint" move and said how she could do a Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan, aside from his fame as the Fear Factor host and former supporting actor of News Radio, is a big mixed martial arts fan. He provides color commentary on the matches. Unfortunately, he is looking pretty rough (and scarily a lot like Billy Joel) these days.

Previously, there was a comment that Kerry could color commentate like Joe Rogan for mixed martial arts. Needless to say, when Kerry kicked up her leg and agreed that she could do a Joe Rogan... well... let's just say... taken out of context, it was a little comical.

Anyway, it was a great time. (I had my third free slurpee of the night.) The main event match between Lesnar and Mir was actually a little disappointing. Lesnar simply made himself look like a jerk with his classless act of refusing to touch gloves with his opponent at the beginning of the match... the trash talking at the end of the match... and the flipping off of the crowd. In my opinion, he did not gain too many fans after that match.

Nevertheless, I had fun hanging with Marc, Kelley, Cass, Kerry and Karen. Thanks again Marc and Kelley!