I Suck At Hot Amy's Cookout

last night was the annual cookout that my friend (hot amy) hosts. hot amy's cookout is one of my friend's (andrea) favorite days of the year... the other favorite day being her own birthday. unfortunately, i suck at hot amy's cookout.

(pictured below is karen... and part of me.)


this year's cookout was quite interesting. after all, the cookout marked the last day of wally's captivity. (for anyone curious, wally is hot amy's stuffed animal.) yes... it's sadly true, wally has been returned to his rightful owner.

of course, like most things, i didn't make it easy for hot amy. (someone has to keep her grounded.) at one point, i actually had the upper hand. sitting across from karen, hot amy taunted karen by showing the stuffed animal that she herself had kidnapped from karen awhile ago.

needless to say, with a swift act of heroism... i saved karen's stuffed animal from the forces of evil. i snatched the stuffed animal directly from hot amy's hands. from there, i bolted to my car to place both wally and karen's stuffed animal into the car.

sure, i may have looked a little silly to hot amy's neighbors by carrying a stuffed pig and wally in my hands as i made my way down the street, but i didn't care. i had both the pig and wally. i'll give hot amy some credit though. i definitely did not notice her following me. i thought i had lost her back at her cookout.

i actually did not notice hot amy until i opened the trunk of my car and threw karen's stuffed pig in. hot amy had let out a scream of terror, causing me to immediately shut the trunk. with wally still in my hand, i had to think of a way to get wally into my car.

eventually, the right opportuntity arose. circling around my car, i stealthily unlocked the car doors with my remote. opening the door, i threw wally in the back seat and quickly locked the doors with the remote. hot amy did her best to open the door, but i was too quick! it was amusing to watch.

anyway, defeated... hot amy walked back to the cookout. i of course, was all smiles on the walk back because i had rescued karen's stuffed pig... and kept wally. and then... came the guilt. and by guilt, i mean my better half: karen.

all right, so maybe i did feel somewhat guilty for taking back the pig while keeping wally. it's like that idiom: like taking candy from a baby... not that i'm calling hot amy a baby or anything.

after some feelings of guilt, i eventually went back to the car to release wally. and naturally because i never make things easy for hot amy, i hid wally somewhere in her very own house without telling her. i don't think she has found wally yet... very sad. at the same time, i get a little chuckle out of knowing that she has not found him. mean? maybe.

aside from the wally fun, the rest of the night was pretty interesting. i will probably never watch fireworks again without thinking about my bff (kerry). it turns out that kerry had a discussion with one of her coworkers about fireworks and how fireworks are similar to... of all things... sex. truth be told, the analogy between fireworks and sex does seem to fit in that all the "foreplay" of the fireworks leads to one big finale.

so needless to say, my group of friends (marc, kelley, kerry, and carlos), karen, and i chuckled like five year olds as we watched the fireworks display. after all, if fireworks were like a rorschach test, then all of us saw nipples and sperm of various colors and sizes in the firework display... well, all of us except for carlos who had trouble seeing the nipple fireworks.

interestingly enough, the most memorable part of the night followed the fireworks. in my opinion, the most memorable part of the night was... the bouncy house. hot amy's family rented one of those bouncy houses... but not just any type of bouncy house. this bouncy house was huge. and luckily, there were no weight restrictions... or at least none that we could read.

needless to say, my friends and i entered the bouncy house and just... bounced and bounced... and bounced. it was awesome... it was fantastic... you name it. who knew jumping around could be so hysterical? from what i was told by kelley, who did not enter the bouncy house, the outside of the bouncy house kept swaying as though it were going to fall over. luckily, the bouncy house never did topple over.

anyway, by far i will remember the bouncy house fun. after all, what could be better than a bunch of friends... hanging together... laughing their butts off as they jump around. it was great.