I Suck At Resigning

today, after 5+ (almost 6) years, i resigned from my company. i suck at resigning. the entire morning, i was a bundle of nerves because i knew my boss (anthony) sincerely wanted me to stay. when i gave my resignation, he totally understood my reasons as we had discussed things earlier.

the reasons were simple. last year, i was offered a position with a new company and i had accepted it. as the company was going through some transitions, the company countered the offer. as karen did not want to sway my decisions on whether to stay or leave, i decided to ask my brother-in-law (pj) and my friend (hot amy) for their opinions. needless to say, i agreed to stay with the company.

well, it has been two-thirds of a year since then and needless to say, none of the promises that were made back then have come to fruition. i had repeatedly inquired about those promises during that long stretch of time. unfortunately, every time i inquired, i was rescheduled for a later date.

it has been frustrating. the last few months, in particular, i have absolutely dreaded going to work. the only things i looked forward to during those times were my high intensity interval training workout and my friends. (i love my friends... thank you everyone.) i've never woke up and dreaded going to work before. it was definitely a rough stretch.

anyway, my boss (anthony) shortly joined the company and i had the opportunity to discuss things with him. anthony is a great guy. when the company interviewed him, he told me that i was the one person he definitely wanted to be on his team. it was nice to hear that. he did, however, totally understand my predicament. in fact, he has done everything he could to convince the company to make good on its original promise and retain me (for which i am grateful for). unfortunately, he can only do so much.

in all honesty, i was not even actively looking for a new job. this new opportunity came up out of the blue and i explored the option. i even told my current company about this new opportunity in hopes that they would actually do the right thing and make good on its word. needless to say, the new opportunity turned into a reality as they offered my a position. i still gave my current company an opportunity to make things right. unfortunately, it was just not in the cards.

it's unfortunate. as much as i like to have fun, i take my job seriously and i think i'm actually a very good worker (in comparison to some of the other engineers i know). i have even been told that i was one of the most respected employees at the company. it simply frustrates me that a company would not want to retain good workers. but, it is not up to me to make company decisions. a part of me had wished (and probably still wishes) that the company would simply do the right thing. it's a small company, so there should not be much red tape in getting things done. i love my coworkers (well, the ones on my team), i love working in town, and i love being able to see my good friends in town.

i feel like i've given my company every opportunity to make things right. and at this point, even if they made things right now... it's probably too little too late. luckily, i don't have to worry about that "what if" scenario as the company did not even counter the offer. i'm definitely sad to leave my friends and my team. hence, i've been reminiscing a lot about the good times lately, much like as if it were christmas time where i historically get all sappy... or much like when i'm inebriated.

but... with every ending, there is a beginning. so hopefully this will be the start of something new... like instead of having fun hanging out with hot amy, i can probably now have fun hanging out with my bff (kerry). who knows? we'll see how it goes.