I Suck At Massages

tonight was an interesting night.

my brother-in-law (pj) mentioned the other day that he never goes out any more. so, tonight, i went out with pj... and my friends (hot amy and jen).

hot amy and jen were going to hit the bars and be on the prowl for men. (i believe the correct term for them is... cougars) the plan was for pj and myself to accompany them and have a competition whereby we would funnel/introduce men to hot amy and jen. in a way, you could say that pj and i were going to have a pimping competition. the plan, when all of us thought of it, sounded awesome in theory. it may have been the sun stroke from playing tennis earlier.

well, needless to say... pj kicked my butt in the competition... in all facets of the competition. it's very sad. i have discovered that i suck at massages. (in my defense, i have not given a massage in years. and when i have, the person i was giving massages to was lying down.) in fact, i'm not too good at pimping either. (this is probably why pj is the favorite son-in-law too.)

we started our competition a little late. while waiting for hot amy and jen to arrive, i downed four mixed drinks of rum and cranberry juice. (i was determined to drink the night away as it would make me more "touchy" in my pimping duties.) from there, we decided to eat at the abington alehouse located in abington. the food was good. (i had a burger.) the drinks were good. keno was good as pj won some stuff. the male population, however, was not too good at the bar.

so, we left and headed for the british beer company located in pembroke. there was an oldies cover band performing that night. they were good... just that the music was... old. well, pj started his pimping. he knew one of the workers (dave) there who was in charge of checking ids. thus, dave tried to funnel men toward hot amy and jen. there were a couple of men also at the bar which i tried to work my pimping magic. (their names were mike and jared.) well, the two guys left... damn them!

anyway, as there were no other viable men for hot amy and jen, we decided to go to bella's in rockland. likewise... no men... so eventually, we ended up at t k o'sheas which is also located in rockland. it was karaoke night that night. (we didn't sing any songs... although i think it would have been awesome if all four of us did.)

sadly, that is where the night ended. i have come to the conclusion that it sucks to be a single woman in her 30s... at least when it comes to going to bars. (personally, i think meeting people at bars is not a good idea... but that's just me.) there just is not enough men at bars, and the ones that are at the bars apparently do not meet the standards of certain "cougars".

so, you may ask... how does this relate to massages? well, what happens in the jetta stays in the jetta... much like the blood splatter stains of hot amy's former fiance. but yeah, i suck at massages in comparison to pj. it's very disheartening, i know... i will have to work on that.