I Suck At Poison Ivy

I have to say it... I suck at poison ivy. Poison ivy is uncomfortably annoying.

Last week, I thought I would be helpful and do some weeding near the side of our house. With the recent weather, the weeds by the side of our house have been crazy.

Naturally, like I do with most things, I went headstrong into the project. With nothing but a pair of gloves... (and some clothes because I was not naked... although I may have well been), I started to remove weed after weed. The experts say that the best way to not get poison ivy over your body is to know what it looks like and avoid it. I beg to differ.

Sure, I may not exactly know what poison ivy looks like, but I have a general idea: Leaves of three, let them be! The area where I was weeding did have poison ivy at one time, but Karen and I sprayed poison ivy killer on it a while ago. As there were no more leaves growing there, we figured the ivy had died.

Obviously, that was my first mistake because I may have yanked out the roots to the poison ivy during my headstrong weeding. For anyone curious, the roots of poison ivy are just as bad, if not worse, than the leaves themselves. The vine produces an oil known as urushiol, which is a skin irritant.

Unbeknownest to me, I had gotten urushiol over me when I was weeding. Shortly thereafter I took a nice warm shower. That was my second mistake. Although I suppose, the one bright side is that I must thoroughly dry myself with my towel after the shower... because the poison ivy spread to every nook and cranny of my body.

Unfortunately, me entire body is covered with what is known as urushiol-induced contact dermatitis. In other words, I have a poison ivy rash. It is not fun. The rash is on both of my forearms, my armpit, my chest, my waist, my legs, even the top of my ear. You name the body part, and the rash is probably there. (Although, luckily I do not think the rash is on my manhood.)

According to my friend, Wikipedia:

"Urushiol binds to the skin on contact, where it causes severe itching that develops into reddish colored inflammation or non-colored bumps, and then blistering. These lesions may be treated with Calamine lotion, Burow's solution compresses or baths to relieve discomfort, though recent studies have shown some traditional medicines to be ineffective. Over-the-counter products to ease itching - or simply oatmeal baths and baking soda - are now recommended by dermatologists for the treatment of poison ivy. In severe cases, clear fluids ooze from open blistered sores and corticosteroids are the necessary treatment.

The oozing fluids released by itching blisters do not spread the poison. The appearance of a spreading rash indicates that some areas received more of the poison and reacted sooner than other areas or that contamination is still occurring from contact with objects to which the original poison was spread. The blisters and oozing result from blood vessels that develop gaps and leak fluid through the skin; if the skin is cooled, the vessels constrict and leak less. If poison ivy is burned and the smoke then inhaled, this rash will appear on the lining of the lungs, causing extreme pain and possibly fatal respiratory difficulty. If poison ivy is eaten, the digestive tract, airway, kidneys or other organs can be damaged. A poison ivy rash can last anywhere from one to four weeks, depending on severity and treatment. In rare cases, poison ivy reactions may require hospitalization.

Urushiol oil can remain active for several years, so handling dead leaves or vines can cause a reaction. In addition, oil transferred from the plant to other objects (such as pet fur) can cause the rash if it comes into contact with the skin. Clothing, tools, and other objects that have been exposed to the oil should be washed to prevent further transmission. People who are sensitive to poison ivy can also experience a similar rash from mangoes. Mangoes are in the same family (Anacardiaceae) as poison ivy; the sap of the mango tree and skin of mangoes has a chemical compound similar to urushiol."

Currently, I am covered in calamine lotion. I am so not happy about this. Unfortunately, I have a few more weeks to go. Ugh...