I Suck At Memorial Mass

sundays are usually the day of rest. sadly, family get-togethers never really seem to be restful. in fact, i jokingly use the term "rigamarole" quite often when it comes to karen's extended family. after all, i had never heard of the actual word of "rigamarole" up until i started hanging out with karen's extended family. so it only seems fitting that i use "rigamarole" when it comes to karen's family.

anyway, today was the memorial mass for karen's grandfather who had passed away quite some time ago. too bad i suck at memorial mass. i have never been religious (as evident from the fact that i still have what is known as "original sin" in the christian world), but i attend the mass because i know it is important to those who knew karen's grandfather. interestingly enough, i have attended more memorial masses for karen's grandfather than some actual family members who really knew karen's grandfather. i find that a little peculiar, but that's just my opinion. i also find it peculiar that i generally know when to stand up and when to sit down... and what people usually repeat and say... just from my limited exposure to going to church. that's scary.

in the past, karen's grandfather's memorial mass was always held on super bowl sunday. this year, however, things were different. for anyone curious, a memorial mass... from what i can tell (and don't take my word on it because i'm not religious)... is a regular church mass given in the name of a past loved one. the family of that past loved one brings up "gifts" to the altar during the consecration... the part where the host and wine become christ's body and blood respectively.

in addition to not being on super bowl sunday this year, the memorial mass this year included the name of my son (braden michael) who was born and passed away in september of last year. as the mass was also for braden, karen's mother thought it would be good to have us choose the bearers of the gifts this year. after a little... rigamarole... we ended up choosing my favorite brother-in-law (pj) and karen's cousin from lowell (tommy).

anyway, it was a nice mass even if the church misspelled braden's name in the church bulletin. i think karen's family were moved by the mass. truth be told, i did not want to have a memorial mass for braden at the same time as karen's grandfather. (heck, i didn't even want a memorial mass for braden at all. original sin, remember?) to me, the addition of braden takes away from the memorial for karen's grandfather. after all, the memorial mass is about and has always been about karen's grandfather. as cold as this sounds, the month of february holds no significance for braden. so adding braden's name to the mass only takes away from karen's grandfather's mass. that is not to say, however, that i am not grateful or thankful that karen's family thought to include braden's name. i did appreciate it and i understand why they wanted to include braden. karen's family wanted to remember my son as well, and i am touched that i have such a great family.

after the mass, karen's extended family went to karen's grandmother's house to continue honoring karen's grandfather. this is generally where the rigamarole starts because there are a large number of people within a confined area. this year, in particular, things are a little more chaotic because there were conversations about karen's grandmother and the future of her care. (karen's grandmother is currently in a nursing home after experiencing a blood clot in her brain.) and as the general saying goes... there are too many cooks in the kitchen. everyone has their own opinion about what to do.

and for me, i don't really need the rigamarole. since braden passed away, my life has been crazy enough... with my fickle mood swings and all. the rigamarole surrounding karen's grandmother will only add to the craziness. so it's definitely one topic i want nothing to do with. i just hope everything turns out well in the end for my extended family.