I Suck At Celebrating My Son's Birthday

Sunday was my son's (Braden) birthday. Happy birthday Braden! Daddy still loves you! Unfortunately, I suck at celebrating my son's birthday. Had Braden survived from being born extremely premature, he would have been two years of age. Sadly, it just wasn't meant to be for Braden.

In a rather ironic twist, I started off my Sunday going to church. I say it's ironic because I am by no means religious. For all my rantings about the Catholic church, I'm surprised I wasn't struck by lightning when I entered.

Truth be told, the only reason why I even went to church was because Karen wanted the entire family to go in remembrance of Braden. Personally, I would have chosen to remember Braden in my own individual way, rather than listen to the useless rhetoric from the priest as he tells me how giving myself fully into God is the answer. I could give myself fully into God and that still wouldn't bring back my son. (To quote Michael from Lost, "I want my son".)

Needless to say, I attended the church mass for the betterment of Karen. And as much as I would have preferred to be alone that morning, it was nice that my favorite sister-in-law (Janine) and her family attended the mass as well as Karen's cousin (Karlene) and her husband (Tommy) who had spent the previous night at our place. Karlene and Tommy considered it an honor to go, which was nice to know.

Anyway, following the mass, Karen, our baby daughter (Briana) and I headed over to the cemetery to see Braden and wish him a happy birthday. Karlene and Tommy had joined us too as they had a little present for Braden. As well, meeting us at the cemetery were my parents and Karen's parents, each with a present for Braden.

As selfish as this sounds, on Sunday morning all I wanted was to just be alone with Braden. I think it's great that everyone wants to be there to support us and I really do appreciate it. I also understand that my relatives and in-laws need to grieve in there own way as well. At the same time, when it comes to Braden, I don't have the energy to stress over things like going to church or planning to meet everyone at the cemetery after church. I just want my own time with my son.

Truth be told, I actually held up pretty well at the cemetery. I did not break down and cry until after everyone had left. I think the tears definitely made me feel better.

Anyway, following the cemetery, Karen and I decided to take a little day trip in honor of Braden. It would be just her, Briana and me. In fact, we actually considered making it an annual tradition of sorts: a vacation in honor of our son. Karen is thinking about Disney, but we'll see how that pans out next year.

Because we did not have much planned this year for Braden's memory, we decided to take a little day trip to Plymouth. In particular, we went to visit Plymouth Rock and introduce Briana to her first beach. For anyone curious, Briana missed seeing Plymouth Rock because she was asleep during that portion of the trip.

For Karen and I, it was definitely relaxing. With the nice weather, we walked around Plymouth. We hung around one of the gardens. It was a perfect way to spend the day in honor of our son. I had not been to historic Plymouth for quite some time. I think the last time I was there may have been with my friend (Jen) and my BFF (Kerry), which was the start of the whole idea about how great it would be to spend a vacationing week together with just friends. Of course, since that time Karen and I have only spent a week with our friends once, but it was still a great idea.

Anyway, as a fitting way to end the evening, we decided to dine out at our favorite restaurant, Not Your Average Joe's located in Norwell. For anyone curious, I ordered the Cobb salad which was very delicious. Of course, the meal also marked the third meal of the day in which I had eggs. I had scrambled eggs for breakfast with Karlene and Tommy; I had egg salad for lunch, which was my comfort food for the day; and I had the Cobb salad that had eggs in it. All in all, my cholesterol must have skyrocketed on Sunday.

Regardless, Sunday turned out to be a great day. I had a good time spending it with just Karen and Briana. Thank you and happy birthday Braden!