I Suck At Support Groups

wednesdays are my usual nights that i hang out with my friends (marc and kelley).

this week, however, karen and i got to hang out with them on tuesday. marc made tacos, which this time seemed to stay in me... unlike the night i had them at my favorite sister-in-law's (janine). anyway, all of us ended up just hanging out watching the next episode of heroes... and a few mindless episodes of cops. (it's interesting how the people in cops are always shirtless or naked... and barefoot...)

the reason why karen and i moved up our usual wednesday nights with marc and kelley was because karen wanted to attend a support group. now, i suck at support groups... which is why i ended up not going. i use this particular blog as my outlet and i think it is working well for me, even if i have a readership of two. okay, so maybe "two" was a hyperbole. regardless, writing... particularly about my son (braden)... has helped me since his passing.

karen, on the other hand, doesn't really have an outlet which is why i think it has been a little harder for her since braden's passing. hence, she attended a support group last night for parents who lost their children. even though i had no interest in going, i originally thought that i would go with karen on her first night to see how things were. as it turned out, it was probably good that i did not attend.

from what karen told me, there was only one other woman attending the support group. that woman had lost her son after carrying him 37 weeks. in fact, i believe he was due this monday. that is truly awful. i don't know who this woman is (and i'm pretty sure she doesn't read my blog), but i do wish her the best.

anyway, karen said that attending the support group helped, in that she realized some of the things she was feeling was normal because the other woman attending likewise had similar feelings. it's funny how when i tell karen it's normal, she doesn't listen... but when other people tell her it's normal, she realizes it.

that actually happens a lot with me. i will say things to karen and she will be like "yeah yeah" and then janine or karen's mom will say the exact same thing and she'll be like "wow, you're absolutely right". okay, so maybe that was a hyperbole as well but you get the gist of the idea. it's interesting how this thing called marriage works...

anyway, i hope the support group truly does help karen. for me, it is tough watching her go through this ordeal because i feel somewhat helpless in supporting her (as evident in my saying it was normal for her to feel that way and that she needs to take care of herself... only to have someone else basically say the same thing and then have her realize it). i know things will never be the same with the passing of braden. and maybe i'm being selfish, but i need karen to get through it because i can't get through it without her.