I Suck At Buffy The Vampire Slayer

last night, i got to hang out with my friends (marc and kelley).

the support group that karen is attending meets on the first and third wednesday of each month. so this week, there was no support group. had there been a support group meeting this week, i can only imagine how somber it would have been because the woman with whom karen shared experiences with in the support group last week was supposed to deliver her son this past monday. this woman's son unexpectedly passed away before the due date, much like my son (braden), except this woman's son was so close to being full term. and although i do not know this woman, or have ever met her, my thoughts... my condolences... are with her. i'm sorry for her loss.

anyway, it was good to hang out with marc and kelley. we grabbed a quick bite to eat at the falafel king (cue rachael ray's "yum-o" sound) in quincy. as well, we watched the latest episode of "heroes"... which was pretty good as usual. and actually last night, we got to watch another episode of buffy the vampire slayer.

i suck at buffy the vampire slayer... no not really. the episode from season one that we watched was titled "nightmares" and basically the plot line is that people's nightmares were coming true. (we're almost done with the first season!) there is actually more to the story in that it revolves around a boy (lucky 19) who was beaten and put into a coma.

the gist, however, was that people's nightmares were coming true. as i sat there watching the episode, i started to think about braden and how things have just been rough lately... as though the past month were just a bad nightmare. as much as i would like it to be the case where i can simply wake up and have my son back and have normalcy again, i do realize everything that has happened with braden and his passing is very much not a dream. i still do not understand why braden had to pass. i can only tell myself that everything happens for a reason... and try to convince myself that braden's passing was part of some divine master plan that i am not privy to.

in the meantime, i am not sure how long this nightmare feeling will last. if it's anything like the buffy the vampire slayer show... next week will be a whole new story. i guess we'll see.

one interesting note from last night was that marc asked about the poem that i had read at braden's service. he thought the poem was very touching. marc then quickly apologized for bringing up braden's service. i thought it was interesting that he quickly apologized because it got me thinking about people's reactions to grief and loss. i think marc felt that bringing up the subject of braden's passing would turn karen and i into wrecks.

well... karen and i are already wrecks. there is no getting around that. just kidding. seriously though, i hope none of my friends or family are ever afraid to talk about braden with karen and i. if anything, i would prefer that they do... if only so that i can rave about my son to them like any good soccer mom would.