Thursday, September 11, 2008

I Suck At Inserting A Central Line

today is a big day for my little dragon (braden).

braden was born extremely premature at 23 weeks. everything about him is underdeveloped. to help him survive, braden needs a central line inserted into him. unfortunately, i suck at inserting a central line. lucky for me (and braden), i personally don't have to perform the procedure.

for those who are curious... according to my friend, wikipedia:

"In medicine, a central venous catheter (CVC or central venous line or central venous access catheter) is a catheter placed into a large vein in the neck (internal jugular vein), chest (subclavian vein) or groin (femoral vein). It is used to administer medication or fluids, obtain blood tests (specifically the 'mixed venous oxygen saturation'), and directly obtain cardiovascular measurements such as the central venous pressure. Certain medications, such as inotropes and amiodarone, are preferably given through a central line."

yes, i know... it's the same quote i used in my previous post. i'm just too exhausted right now to look for a new quote. the doctors cannot keep infusing little braden through the umbilical chord because of inevitable infection and the risk to his liver. so, i am hoping that the doctors today can successfully insert the central line into braden.

performing the procedure today is a surgeon from children's hospital. he has a very greek sounding name, but goes by "gus". i have no idea why he goes by "gus" because there is no "gus" in his greek name. incidentally, the staff here at the hospital does not know why he goes by "gus" either.

anyway, gus will be doing a cutdown to insert the central line, which according to the american pediatric surgical association is when "an incision is made in the skin and the catheter is placed directly through a hole, or incision, made in the vein. Veins often used for a 'cutdown' include the facial, external jugular, cephalic, or saphenous veins."

i hope the very best for braden... and i must say... it is quite nerve wracking waiting for the procedure to finish.

UPDATE:

unfortunately, gus was not able to insert the central line into braden because braden's veins are simply too small. my little dragon is out of options for a central line. without a central line, he will die.

the current option being discussed now is surgery to which braden will most likely not survive. even if braden does survive, he still has a whole list of other things that need to happen for him to live.

needless to say, karen and i are not doing too well. i keep hoping for that miracle to save my little boy from all of this. as a parent, it pains me to not be able to do anything for my son. i can only sit and watch the events unfold... hoping that all those dreams that had for my little braden can still come true.

it's extremely heartbreaking to even have to think about the possibilities of braden not making it. and as geeky as this sounds... the quote by theoden from the lord of the rings is so true. "no parent should have to bury their child."

i'm not at that stage yet. i still remain hopeful. unfortunately, i fear time is running out.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I Suck At Being There For My Son

it's day 5 of life, as the doctors say.

my son (braden) was born extremely premature at 23 weeks. for those who are not good at math, that's about four months early. he is currently in the neonatal intensive care unit in critical condition trying to survive.

needless to say, karen and i have been a mess lately. we have recently started a routine whereby we visit braden in the early morning and late at night. in between those times, i have been attempting to work at my job. it pains me to leave braden after our early morning visit. it is simply unfortunate that i suck at being there for my son. in reality, i probably could spend all day at the intensive care unit because my boss is understanding and would cover for me. as i had just started at this company, i don't have any vacation time or sick time... or any of that. i also, however, don't want to get my boss in any trouble for covering for me. so, i am attempting to work... however little it is that i have been doing right now because i am constantly distracted by the well being of braden.

anyway, as i am currently composed and not a blubbering puddle of tears yet, i figured i'd write about my son. yes, i fear that i am turning into that soccer mom who only talks about their child... so, i apologize. i never wanted to become a soccer mom. i figured, for those reading this blog, however, that some of you may want to know how things were going with my little dragon (braden).

due to the extreme premature birth, braden has many things that are underdeveloped. again, he is a fighter and has survived the first 24 hours where most extremely premature babies of his gestation period do not. (yay braden!)

currently, the main problems he is facing (and there will be many of them) are the following:

the need for a central line;
the pda needs to close;
and bleeding in his brain;

the central line is the most important problem right now. according to my friend, wikipedia:

"In medicine, a central venous catheter (CVC or central venous line or central venous access catheter) is a catheter placed into a large vein in the neck (internal jugular vein), chest (subclavian vein) or groin (femoral vein). It is used to administer medication or fluids, obtain blood tests (specifically the "mixed venous oxygen saturation"), and directly obtain cardiovascular measurements such as the central venous pressure. Certain medications, such as inotropes and amiodarone, are preferably given through a central line."

basically, the central line is his life. braden needs it in place so that he can be given certain medications and fluids. as of right now, the doctors have been unable to put one into braden because his veins are simply too small. so braden has been... maintaining.

in regards to the pda... according to the national heart lung and blood institute, in patent ductus arteriosus (pda):

"there is an abnormal circulation of blood between two of the major arteries near the heart. Before birth, the two major arteries—the aorta and the pulmonary artery—are normally connected by a blood vessel called the ductus arteriosus, which is an essential part of the fetal circulation. After birth, the vessel is supposed to close within a few days as part of the normal changes occurring in the baby's circulation. In some babies, however, the ductus arteriosus remains open (patent). This opening allows blood to flow directly from the aorta into the pulmonary artery, which can put a strain on the heart and increase the blood pressure in the lung arteries."

as of right now, there is a 2mm hole that is problematic for braden. the doctors are attempting to treat the problem with drugs in hopes that the hole will close. treatment consists of 3 doses (which make up 1 course) of a particular drug that obviously has health risks. braden is currently in dose 2 of the second course (with a maximum of 3 courses).

lastly, the doctors are concerned with bleeding in braden's brain. it probably goes without saying that any hemorrhaging in the brain is never good. braden has had numerous ultrasounds of his head. unfortunately, something abnormal and inconclusive was detected. the doctors are going to likewise monitor that to see if what they discovered spreads or not. the good news is... the abnormality is not where they would expect premature babies to hemorrhage. the bad news is... it could still be a hemorrhage of some type.

the only other thing that is new for my little braden... is that he has a new hat. he is now tres chic with his little blue hat. i am guessing he is the rave among all the neonatal intensive care unit babies.

(pictured below is braden with his stylish blue hat.)


keep up the good work braden! mommy and daddy love you! i wish i could be there with you.

Monday, September 8, 2008

I Suck At Crying

it's amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye... much like tom brady's football season (it's the curse of gisele bundchen). last week, i was planning on writing a blog post about buffy the vampire slayer and how awesome the three episodes that i watched with my friends (marc and kelley) were. i was definitely not expecting what would actually happen on that thursday.

i had originally thought about titling this post "i suck at blogging" because i did not post anything for some time. in fact, i actually debated on whether i would write something about what has happened in the past several days. in the end, i thought that it would be more beneficial for me to get my emotions out and write something.

anyway, for those who know me... i am generally stone cold. i have ice in my veins, which comes in very handy when i attempt to "instigate" things or say unfiltered thoughts. i would sometimes look at karen and shake my head when she would be crying during a sappy movie. so needless to say, i suck at crying... until now.

if i were to ever complete another myspace survey asking about the last time i cried... i'd definitely know the answer to that. i don't think i have ever cried more during a 5 day period.

on thursday, karen and i went to the hospital because karen was not feeling quite right with her pregnancy. as it turned out, we were surprised to discover that our baby wanted to arrive early. the problem... our baby was only 22 weeks 6 days old, which would be classified as extremely premature. when the doctors tell you that extremely premature babies hardly survive the first 24 hours, sadness just hits you in the gut. needless to say, you get a little teary eyed.

the doctors did what they could to delay the arrival of our baby. after what had looked promising in their attempts, karen started to get major contractions. when karen looked at me with tears in her eyes saying how scared she was, i simply lost it because i knew deep down... i felt the same way. with tears of my own, i grabbed a hold of her hands and told her that we'd get through it.

and karen did. she was amazingly strong. she gave birth to our son (braden michael).

(the video below is of our little braden in the intensive care unit.)


anyway, since the birth of braden, it has been an up and down rollercoaster ride. there are times when things look good for him. there are times when things look not-so-good for him. the ride definitely takes its toll. whether its the lack of sleep, the situation, whatever... i get all choked up now at the flick of a switch. but, like karen, i am trying to remain strong.

braden... he's a fighter. as of this post, he has defied the odds and survived for 78 hours. i'm so proud of him. i am hoping there will be many more hours because i want to hold my son and tell him everything will be okay.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I Suck At 90210

tonight was the debut of one of the best shows from the 90s... 90210... the next generation.

now, i suck at 90210. growing up, i used to watch 90210 all the time. i even watched melrose place too, but that's another subject altogether. what can i say? i watched a lot of television growing up.

unfortunately, like most teenage tv shows... the show generally goes downhill after the teens graduate from high school... and 90210 was no different. truth be told, i'm surprised the show lasted as long as it did (10 years).

anyway, tonight was the debut of the next generation of 90210 teens... with some of the stars from the original series. might i add... what happened to kelly taylor?!? she (jennie garth) apparently has put on some weight. what happened with dancing with the stars? dancing the salsa didn't whip her into shape? say it isn't so! (for anyone curious... kelly taylor... was my favorite from the original 90210. it may be due to the fact that she was... hot... and blonde.)

regardless, the 2 hour debut was interesting to say the least. karen and i were quite excited to watch the show. we got all ready... sitting in our comfy chairs... bowl of ice cream in hand... watching the show on the new television. without spoiling things for people who have not watched the show yet, neither karen nor i were too impressed with the show. although, might i ask, where were all of these good looking women when i was growing up and attending high school? so unfair... west beverly high is so lucky. even their parents are good looking!

(the video below is the trailer to the new 90210.)


oh well. i haven't decided yet if i'll continue watching the show or not. this next generation of 90210 is just not the same. although perhaps, the original 90210 could have been just as cheesy with the whole "donna martin graduates!" and i just didn't realize it at the time because i was in high school.

maybe the new 90210 should bring back emily valentine...

I Suck At Lime Rickey's Beach Food

today, my bff (kerry) asked if i wanted to do lunch.

kerry is off this entire week. as she had some free time today (and since because she was in neighboring salem), she thought it would be a good idea to grab a bite to eat together.

we decided to grab lunch at lime rickey's beach food in marblehead. now, i suck at lime rickey's beach food. i have never been to lime rickey's. i had heard of the place from the phantom gourmet one day when i was flipping channels (because i don't normally watch the phantom gourmet). in fact, the only reason the phantom gourmet caught my attention (aside from the food of course) was that it had mentioned the town of marblehead which is where i work.

the phantom gourmet gave lime rickey's a favorable review, so i had suggested it to kerry. i actually drive by lime rickey's whenever i commute to work. i pass by the swampscott location in the morning. there are only two lime rickey's locations and the marblehead location is... well... supposedly the fancier one because it resides on what is referred to as "the neck" in marblehead. "the neck" in marblehead is the fancier side of marblehead with the big huge houses. apparently, i just work in the 'hood of marblehead.

anyway, kerry picked me up at my company. she could probably tell you... getting to my place of employment... very convoluted and difficult. but she was able to find it. so we headed off to devereaux beach, which is where the marblehead location of lime rickey's is.

(pictured below is kerry during our lunch.)


i will agree with the phantom gourmet. the food was pretty good. i had a fried fish sandwich and a raspberry lime rickey. (cue rachael ray's "yum-o" sound.) i had to have the lime rickey... because that's their name... and that's what they are supposed to be good at making. truth be told, i would have preferred if the cup were larger with less ice... but it was good nonetheless. (while i'm at it, i probably would have preferred the tuna melt too, which was my original choice for lunch. unfortunately, they were out of tuna today.) all in all, the food was good. i would even say that the fish sandwich was better than king's in salem.

in addition to the good food, the weather was great... it was a perfect day to spend at the beach. the only problem... devereaux beach... not too clean. kerry was a little horrified, to say the least, at the amount of litter on the beach. apparently, marblehead "neck"ers should spend less time necking... and more time cleaning... although i suppose if i were given the choice, i'd probably choose necking too.

litter aside, i had a great time with my bff. i'd love to do lunch again with kerry.

I Suck At Registering

as yesterday was labor day, i found it fitting that i should do some... laboring.

so, karen and i (during my little break from working on the house), decided to register for baby stuff at our second store to give our friends options... should they want to get us things for the minion, baby bruce... the little dragon.

now, i suck at registering. karen and i decided to go to target for our second baby registry (registry id: 014217300000034).

as it turns out, target... is more like a winnie the pooh registry. it seemed like everything that we had registered for at target was somehow a winnie the pooh related item. i sure hope the little dragon likes winnie the pooh. if not, i'm sure karen wouldn't mind using the items for our bedroom.

anyway, i am having fun with this registering thing. i always thought it was a little odd asking people to buy stuff for us. i felt the same way for the wedding registry. i do realize that these important life events are quite expensive for a single couple to do on their own... and i do appreciate everyone for all of their help. so before i forget... thank you in advance.

if target or babies 'r us sold cars, i'd scan a toyota prius... baby needs a new car. just kidding. actually, now that my friend (hot amy) drives a prius... i'm afraid i'll have to find a new dream car. i don't want to be a copycat... even though i wanted the prius way before she ever did. but i guess it's a good thing you can't scan a prius... i think i just like playing around with the scanner and shooting bar codes... as lame as that sounds.

needless to say, our baby registry still needs some work. karen and i only managed to scan a few things... there's only so much time in a given day... but at least we now have two registries for everyone.

I Suck At The Omelet Factory

as yesterday was a holiday (labor day), karen and i wanted to do something productive. "something productive" generally translates to working on the house. in this particular case, working on the house involved adding trim around the windows on the second floor... we have a lot of windows.

so, we headed off to my favorite home improvement store (lowes) in pembroke for some molding. on the way back home, we passed the omelet factory, which is a restaurant that serves breakfast and lunch items... mainly omelets. now, i suck at the omelet factory. karen and i had heard about the omelet factory through a participant at the ymca a long time ago. the participant recommended the place to us as the restaurant was down our neck of the woods in norwell.

anyway, karen and i have never gone to the omelet factory... until now. in our defense, we generally don't go out for breakfast. i prefer the comfort of my blanket and my comfy bed. it just so happens that yesterday, we were out and about... and we happened to pass by the omelet factory. so, we decided to give it a try.

the omelet factory is located near the intersection of route 53 and schoosett street. (the place is actually on schoosett street.) in the parking lot, there are signs for the "omelet factory", "bon appetit" and some hair salon. there is, however, only one building. naturally, you would think that there are three separate businesses in that one building.

well, karen and i circled around the building. we found "bon appetit" and the nail salon. confused, we circled around back. out back, there was a sign for the omelet factory with its hours posted. the back doors near the signs did not have any handles on them. karen was able to pry them open... only to reveal the kitchen area of the restaurant. oops.

anyway, we then circled back around to the front. it was good to know we weren't the only ones confused by the omelet factory. another couple in the parking lot had also been circling around the building looking for the elusive omelet factory. they were equally stumped.

needless to say, all of us (karen and i, and the random couple) decided to just walk into "bon appetit". lo and behold... it turns out... bon appetit was the omelet factory.

the omelet factory was not what i expected at all. i was expecting to see a diner or something... or some antiquated restaurant look. it was actually very nice inside, even if it did have the old mom and pop restaurant feel to it. the food was quite delicious as well. i had an asparagus and cheese omelet (cue the rachael ray "yum-o" sound) that came with toast and red potatoes. yum yum stinky pee!

all in all, i enjoyed the omelet factory. and it was a good thing that we went when we did because the place started to get busy...