I Suck At Crying

it's amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye... much like tom brady's football season (it's the curse of gisele bundchen). last week, i was planning on writing a blog post about buffy the vampire slayer and how awesome the three episodes that i watched with my friends (marc and kelley) were. i was definitely not expecting what would actually happen on that thursday.

i had originally thought about titling this post "i suck at blogging" because i did not post anything for some time. in fact, i actually debated on whether i would write something about what has happened in the past several days. in the end, i thought that it would be more beneficial for me to get my emotions out and write something.

anyway, for those who know me... i am generally stone cold. i have ice in my veins, which comes in very handy when i attempt to "instigate" things or say unfiltered thoughts. i would sometimes look at karen and shake my head when she would be crying during a sappy movie. so needless to say, i suck at crying... until now.

if i were to ever complete another myspace survey asking about the last time i cried... i'd definitely know the answer to that. i don't think i have ever cried more during a 5 day period.

on thursday, karen and i went to the hospital because karen was not feeling quite right with her pregnancy. as it turned out, we were surprised to discover that our baby wanted to arrive early. the problem... our baby was only 22 weeks 6 days old, which would be classified as extremely premature. when the doctors tell you that extremely premature babies hardly survive the first 24 hours, sadness just hits you in the gut. needless to say, you get a little teary eyed.

the doctors did what they could to delay the arrival of our baby. after what had looked promising in their attempts, karen started to get major contractions. when karen looked at me with tears in her eyes saying how scared she was, i simply lost it because i knew deep down... i felt the same way. with tears of my own, i grabbed a hold of her hands and told her that we'd get through it.

and karen did. she was amazingly strong. she gave birth to our son (braden michael).

(the video below is of our little braden in the intensive care unit.)


anyway, since the birth of braden, it has been an up and down rollercoaster ride. there are times when things look good for him. there are times when things look not-so-good for him. the ride definitely takes its toll. whether its the lack of sleep, the situation, whatever... i get all choked up now at the flick of a switch. but, like karen, i am trying to remain strong.

braden... he's a fighter. as of this post, he has defied the odds and survived for 78 hours. i'm so proud of him. i am hoping there will be many more hours because i want to hold my son and tell him everything will be okay.