I Suck At Attending A Service For Remembrance

In addition to being my first time in work's new office location of Danvers, yesterday was the 18th Annual Service of Remembrance at the Old South Union Church which is directly across from South Shore Hospital. The service is held for families who have lost children. Too bad, I suck at attending a service for remembrance.

It has been over two years since Karen and I lost our son (Braden). As much as I hate to say it, I have not thought much about my beautiful angel in quite some time. Like many people I'm sure, I have been caught up in trying to raise a baby daughter (Briana) while balancing other aspects in life.

Sadly, I think my original fears are coming true. Shortly after Braden's passing, I was concerned that I would forget about him. I was afraid that I would forget his beautiful face. I was afraid that I would forget what his skin felt like when I kissed him goodbye. And now, it's almost like it is coming true. That sensation I felt when I kissed Braden goodbye doesn't seem as real as I once remembered it being. It really irks me that I can't remember that feeling anymore.

So needless to say, I was looking forward to attending the service for remembrance just so that I could have some dedicated time to thinking about my beautiful son. With such a hectic schedule, especially during the holidays, I thought it was definitely much needed.

In case anyone is curious, the service seemed shorter this year, which was probably just as well because Briana was with us. And truth be told, Briana was very well behaved during the service. She only made a couple of brief peeps during the service, but nothing distracting (unlike the children sitting behind us).

Anyway, it was a nice service. I hope Braden enjoyed the service as well. Happy holidays, Braden! Even though Daddy forgets things, he still loves you.