I Suck At Being A Parent

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day! As the luck of the Irish would have it, yesterday was also the day I became a the proud parent of a baby girl. Too bad I suck at being a parent.

(The picture below is my daughter, Briana. She's actually lying down in an Isolette... a.k.a. incubator in the NICU, so you may need to tilt your head to the left.)


Briana was born yesterday, March 17 2010. She weighed in at 4 pounds 14 ounces. As well, she measured 18 inches, which is pretty comparable to a full term baby. (For anyone curious, Briana was born prematurely at 33 weeks.)

Also of note is the fact that Briana received a 9.9 Apgar score. Previous to Briana's birth, I had never heard of the Apgar score. The Apgar is a health assessment test for newborns. The maximum score is 10. So apparently Briana scored extremely well considering she was premature. I was pretty impressed.

Hearing that she scored so well was definitely a relief. After everything that happened with my son (Braden) and how he was born extremely premature which unfortunately allowed him to only survive a week, the actual stress to make it through the actual birth of Briana felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Rather than worrying about whether Karen and I would lose another child in the same fashion, we can now worry about actually taking care of our child.

Of course, Briana is not out of the woods yet. As a premature baby, she is still being monitored in the neonatal intensive care unit. Her chances of survival, however, are quite good because she was delivered further along than Braden (and she also scored so well on the Apgar.) Although Karen and I still won't be able to take her home from the hospital for several weeks, just knowing that she was born and has a great fighting chance to survive is fantastic.

But, I am hoping for the best. And I must say, Briana's birth was simply amazing. I don't mean that because she is now "Daddy's little girl". The entire experience was awesome and nothing like that movie "The Miracle of Life". After Briana's birth, I would love to be a labor coach. Of course, the other expectant mothers probably would not like that as much if I were in the room with them... but I think that would be fun.

Karen's labor was quite the ride. After her water broke, the doctor's simply kept a monitor on her to check her contractions. Since Karen was at 33 weeks, there was a decision made by the doctors to administer a steroid to help Briana's potential lung development. The steroid process consisted of two shots given 24 hours apart. (Unfortunately, Briana only received one of the two shots.)

The reason why only one steroid shot was received was because Karen started having contractions. As Karen started having contractions, the doctors soon prescribed Nubain (Nalbuphine) for the pain and discomfort. Eventually, the pain proved to be too much for Karen (even after a second dose of Nubain) and consequently, she was given her epidural.

After the epidural, it was pretty much a given that Briana would be born that day because dilation was inevitable. And so, Karen began the active portion of her labor. That was the part on television where the expecting mother generally screams and yells at the father or whoever is around because she is pushing the baby out. Interestingly enough, real life is nothing like television. Granted, Karen and I actually had dedicated hands-on training with the child birth by professionals. (We never had taken the child birthing class offered by the hospital because... well... each time we registered for the class our child was born prematurely before the class.) So nope, there was no screaming during the active labor portion.

The pushing of the baby was wild. Karen did a fantastic job. Always the curious one, I even got to see probably more than a normal person should. On television, the father generally stays by the wife's side near the top of the bed... if he doesn't pass out. At least... that's television. I got to actually help lift Karen's legs, hold her head up, hold her hands... everything.

It probably goes without saying that I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. And okay, I'll admit, I even almost teared up during the whole labor portion. After three hours of pushing, Karen was simply exhausted. She simply looked spent. I could see it on her face that she looked like she wanted to give up. It was at that point that the doctor gave a little "rah-rah" type of speech to Karen about fighting through the pain and about how if she can overcome that one moment of pain, she would be forever happy that she did so.

I have no reason why it almost made me tear up. I guess because 1) I've possibly become a softy with parenthood and 2) I think the message made sense to me on a personal level. In particular, I had thought about Braden at that moment, and how losing him was extremely painful. And then now, there was this opportunity to have the world make sense again in my life with the birth of Briana. For me, the doctor's message seemed to be not only for Karen and her labor, but for me as well. And truth be told, I think the nurse (Patty) who was there with us with Braden and now also there with us for Briana somehow sensed that too because she looked at me after the doctor said those inspiring words.

Sure enough... Karen reached down deep inside and did it. She was simply amazing. Seeing Briana's head pop right out was great. I remember at the time too that while Briana was being pulled out I had thought... wow, that's a long baby. Little did I know, she would measure 18 inches.

The NICU were also on hand during Briana's birth. After all, they were there to take Briana to the NICU as soon as possible to begin their treatment for me. As they were attending to Briana, the other doctors were helping Karen pass the placenta (and all the other after birth stuff.) Everything was pretty hectic after the actual birth.

Luckily for me, the NICU allowed me the opportunity to cut the umbilical cord. That was also a great experience. For anyone curious, cutting through the umbilical cord is like cutting through a rubber hose. Hopefully, Briana will end up with an "innie" instead of an "outie". And for those still curious, doctors have no control over that belly button feature. I asked. The way the cord eventually falls off determines that.

All in all, St. Patty's Day was a wild ride with the birth of our daughter Briana. Karen mentioned that Briana's 21st birthday will most likely be quite the party. I have not thought that far into the future yet, but it would definitely be quite the party for Briana.

Happy birthday Briana! And Braden, it looks like you now have a little sister to look after too!