I Suck At Remembering My Son

This past Tuesday, Karen and I unfortunately did not get to see our friends (Marc, Kelley, and Andrea). We usually get together every week for Lost. As it turns out, our newborn daughter (Briana) had not been sleeping well the previous nights. Well, I should rephrase that. Briana had been keeping her parents up till the wee hours of night, and sleeping thereafter. So needless to say, Karen and I were both exhausted come Tuesday. (Incidentally, Marc was not feeling well that day either. I hope you're feeling better, Marc.)

Anyway, with our plans canceled, Karen decided to attend a library meeting. Karen has been volunteering with the Friends of the Norwell Public Library, which helps the local library raise funds for its services (like museum passes, children activities and whatnot). Karen was hesitant to go to the meeting at first (probably because she did not want to leave Briana with me), but she eventually did decide to go.

Truth be told, I'm actually glad she went to the meeting. I think Karen needs a break from Briana ever so often. It does the body/mind good to step away and recharge the batteries, so to speak. I have the luxury... if you can call it that... of going to my office in Marblehead. Karen, on the other hand, is home on maternity leave. And no doubt, taking care of a newborn child is difficult when you are home.

So while Karen was at the meeting, I got to spend some time with my daughter. I actually had a great time playing with Briana. Sadly, I did almost get a little emotional while playing with her.

I started telling Briana about her great older brother (Braden) and how he would have loved to have taken care of her. I didn't have to say much before I started getting choked up. My son, Braden, passed away one week after being born. He was great. Being born extremely premature, he fought hard to survive. It just wasn't meant to be.

Yeah, I suck at remembering my son. I try to think of him as much as I can, especially with Briana in our lives. One of my fears is that I will forget about my son. I can already see it happening. Most of my time is currently consumed with taking care of Briana. I have only been able to visit the cemetery where Braden is buried only a couple of times since Briana's birth.

Don't get me wrong. I am excited and ecstatic to have Briana in my life. I just don't want to forget Braden in the process.