I Suck At Euphemisms

while my friends, karen, and i were visting scott, ofelia, and xavier in new york, certain topics came up for discussion. naturally, not everyone in the group knew the meaning of certain euphemisms (in fact, some of them suck at knowing euphemisms), so i figured i would share them here. (these topics, by the way, came up a lot during our visit, causing much laughter and merriment)

term #1: sharded. (a verb). according to urbandictionary.com, when you go to fart and a little shit comes out instead.

term #2: skeet. (also a verb). to paraphrase urbandictionary.com, it is a form of birth control whereby the men pull out and shoot (like skeet shooting) during sexual intercourse. the term has been spread through rap music where "skeet skeet skeet" has been used.

lastly, term #3: pearl necklace. (a noun). this term is most likely used in conjunction with the other term just mentioned above. to paraphrase urbandictionary.com, the term refers to when a man "skeets" his manliness over a woman's neck area and thus produces something resembling a necklace.

don't ask me how these terms came up during conversation. they just did.
anyway, these terms got my mind thinking... and envisioning a movie scene (albeit a possible porn movie scene):

INT. BEDROOM. The moonlight barely reveals the silhouette of a man and woman by the bedside. The woman is kneeling before the man. Her head bobs up and down. The room is pitch black. ANGLE ON the man's butt.

MAN.
Don't stop, baby. Keep going.

WOMAN.
mmm... slurp... mmm...

MAN.
Yeah yeah, I'll let you know... okay, it's time to skeet skeet!

The man makes a motion toward his groin area with his hands. He grunts.

MAN.
Hey baby, there's your pearl necklace. Don't say I never get you anything.

The man lets out a loud flatulent sound and grunts again.

MAN.
Hee hee. I just sharded!

okay, maybe i'm a little demented for even thinking of a possible scene involving those terms. my demented mind also got me thinking about some other non-related issue. that issue is as follows:

for those of you who are unaware of the term "slam-pig", a slam-pig according to urbandictionary.com is a woman who is a little loose. i have generally heard the term used to describe women who are a heavy and easy. so, i was just curious if there were a similar term to describe a fat gay man who was easy. i don't know if a term existed. i assumed it would be something like "slam-bear". if the term doesn't exist, i would like to create it just so i can say i created a term.